Sometimes

Sometimes, I feel I don't belong. Especially when you realise how much fun others are having, and you just cannot afford to join them because its not right. Then people start to tell you that you must join them yourself. Standing one side only showed that you are not willing to join them. Then you'd try to talk and socialise and all, but, it's just not right. Nothing changes and in fact, you probably realise you are even more extra.

And you'd get so self-conscious of whatever you wear, say and act. Hoping you won't lose those friends whom you don't belong with.

And then in the end, you just went one big round to know that actually, it will still be the same. Nothing changes.

But you would try to move on and you did. Just that everything is still the same. Everyone treats you the same. You feel so useless. And nobody cares. They just say they do but, you think they're probably lying. Because just when you thought they do, they trample of the feeling again. As if trying to say: 'We don't care about you. Stop making us think that we should when we don't want to.'

Sometimes. Maybe almost everytime.